You're Not Crazy, You're Different: Chaz Wolfe

Summary

In this episode, Christian Brim and Chez Wolfe explore leadership, entrepreneurship, and the importance of purpose-driven building in both business and family life. They share insights on identity, decision-making, and balancing relentless ambition with meaningful relationships.

Key  Topics

• The loneliness of leadership and the importance of community
• The impact of vision and doubt on entrepreneurial progress
• The importance of purpose and desire in business success
• The concept of redirecting energy from personal to family and purpose
• The influence of success and failure on entrepreneurial mindset
• The importance of systems and intentionality in family and business
• The role of desire and subconscious programming in motivation
• The significance of reflection and awareness in leadership

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Transcript

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Christian Brim (00:01.132)
Welcome to another episode of the Chris Project. I am your host, Christian Brim. Joining me, Chez Wolf. Chez, welcome to the program.

Chaz Wolfe (00:09.556)
What's up? How we doing? Thanks for having me. Appreciate ya.

Christian Brim (00:11.904)
Absolutely. I forgot to ask what company you wanted me to associate you with, so give you that

Chaz Wolfe (00:16.232)
Yeah, gathering the kings is the name of our coaching business where we help entrepreneurs build a business that runs without them so their family never has to.

Christian Brim (00:26.494)
There's so much there's so much in that statement. Okay, I'm gonna start with why did you choose the name Gathering the Kings?

Chaz Wolfe (00:29.544)
Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (00:33.214)
Yeah, because it's an action. it is something that we are doing. it's not a name, it's a it's a it's a verb. the process of gathering ones that have impact over others, families, businesses, communities, process, money, flow. I mean you name it, a king is someone who rules well. there's been some bad kings in in our day, but

Christian Brim (00:41.74)
Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (01:02.462)
you know, generally, this is someone who who takes responsibility for the power that they hold. And I think by gathering those people together, whether it be in a group format or an event or even in a one on one coaching scenario where we're trying to grow their business or their mindset or their business system or whatever, I think that that conversation sounds different between kings. And I anticipate that here today as well.

Christian Brim (01:26.814)
Yes, I I think one of the themes of leadership is that, you know, i if you're if you're gonna be true to leadership is that it is lonely because although you can surround yourself with people, ultimately the decisions you make are yours, and they impact others and so that's that's a that's a lonely place a lot of times. And I I think that the more that we

engage with others that are are equally yoked and like minded. it it doesn't it doesn't necessarily make the decisions easier, but i i I mean they're still they're still complicated, they're still impactful, they're still dangerous. but I I I don't know if it's just the the comfort of knowing that you're not alone. I don't know.

Chaz Wolfe (02:24.542)
Yeah. It's a sense of normalcy, as what I have found, is that when you make a, you know, crazy move, as a business owner, you know, in your world, typically it's crazy because everyone else around you is going, You're doing what? Or, you know, you're giving up what? Or, you know, one month you might have the the worst month ever, and they're like, my gosh, you did what? And then the next month you have your best month ever, and they're like, my gosh, you made what? you know, so like just no one relates and then you step into a room where people that this is just regular life, you're like,

Christian Brim (02:27.149)
Yeah.

Chaz Wolfe (02:55.208)
I actually I'd this is not an up and a down scenario. I should actually hold no emotion towards this at all, other than the fact that this is just how I'm built. This is just what we do. People like us. and so when you have a sense of normalcy, you can build some confidence around like, like I'm actually on the right path. I'm not I'm not odd. I'm not alone. Maybe you're alone, you know, at times, but you know that like in the in the ecosphere you're not alone. You know, there's other people like you.

Christian Brim (02:55.437)
Yeah.

Christian Brim (03:04.696)
Mm-hmm.

Christian Brim (03:19.212)
Yeah. Yeah. I and I I I I I experienced this just this morning. I was talking to my integrator and I said, look, I need you to be brutally honest with me. and and she goes, Well, am I not normally? And I'm like, Yes, you are, but I don't want you to hold anything back, right? Like I want you to, you know, not hold anything in reserve in your answer.

And I said I've I've done one of those entrepreneur things where I'm like flipping the tables over and saying we're gonna come change the business completely. And I'm like, do you see it? Do you d b because the last hundred and twenty days as a leadership team, we've been working on the the the roadmap.

And we haven't even we haven't even started implementing it and we haven't rolled it out to the rest of the team. But I was like, do you do you see it? Do you see what I see? And do you believe it? Because I had this moment of doubt of like, maybe I am just in my own head and I've got this I I've I've drank my own Kool-Aid and I'm just saying these things, right?

Chaz Wolfe (04:44.959)
Yeah.

Christian Brim (04:45.054)
And and no one's pushing back and saying, you know, the emperor's not wearing any clothes, right? and and she was very honest with me, and and it was it was comforting, but you know, the the reality is that visionaries, entrepreneurs, live at least some of the time in the future. And seeing what others can't see, seeing what's possible, and you know.

Dealing with reality at the same time is is is really s really a struggle. I mean, it is for me, it has been. Like you can become completely delusional and ignore reality, right? That that's that's something that's happened to me. Like just living in the future entirely, and you're like, dude, the ship's sinking. Like you're not right. Right.

Chaz Wolfe (05:23.188)
Yep.

Chaz Wolfe (05:29.738)
Right. Right.

Chaz Wolfe (05:37.822)
Yeah. Come too.

Christian Brim (05:42.083)
But then there's also I've also swung around where I I have I've held back the vision because I was afraid. Like cause I knew that if I I put it out there and I committed to it that it was gonna happen and I didn't know that I wanted to go down that road, right?

Chaz Wolfe (06:01.502)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've experienced both of those. You know, the interesting piece that was coming up in my mind as you were saying that, Christian, is that we've gotten we use a tool called the predictive index and I've gotten good enough to where I what what you just described I can see on a graph. And that that especially the the piece where it's like we're living in the future, you know, a little bit of loss of sight of what's happening today.

Because for most entrepreneurs, that's that's the Achilles heel, right? It's I can see it so clearly, no one else does. And so then therefore they don't know how to reverse engineer it and or communicate the reverse engineered steps. So then therefore not the action, not the right action or enough action is taken today to get us to where we want to go. and so then the ship sinks or a version of that. and and it always just becomes

Christian Brim (06:29.646)
Mm-hmm.

Christian Brim (06:36.856)
Yes.

Christian Brim (06:45.592)
Correct.

Christian Brim (06:50.318)
Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (06:53.396)
this thing that's out there that we talk about but never actually happens and then the people around us kinda just write us off as dreamers, not not doers, because of that gap that we've just described right there.

Christian Brim (07:06.89)
Yeah, and and there's a difference, at least was for me when like I was the one that was driving the vision. And like I kind of drug everyone along with me, but you reach a point where you can't do anymore with your your own energy, your own time, and you have to build a team to take it to the next level. And

I I I sat for probably three years in a per fairly profound execution gap. where, you know, I'd say this is what I want to do, and we'd agree to it, and then we wouldn't make progress towards it, right? and a lot of it, honestly, to your point was I I

I didn't have a r a whole lot of clarity around what I wanted. I I thought I did, right? but it it took some

Tough times of non-execution to realize like this isn't really what I want. And I'm I'm kind of like hedging on what I really want. Like if I if I could do it, this is what I'd do. I wouldn't do this, I'd do that. But that scared me. and as I went, as I went further into it, you know, I'm 56, I'm like, you you've got a path here where you can take this business and you could spend the next 10 years

Optimize, squeeze all the profit out of it, and probably sell it to a PE, and you know, live a happy life. But I I was like, I'm not done yet. I'm like, there's something, there's something more than just that. And putting that on the table and risking it wa was like pretty pretty terrifying. I mean, it's still terrifying. We we haven't even gotten to the execution part, but like.

Chaz Wolfe (09:15.743)
Yeah.

Chaz Wolfe (09:19.7)
Right.

Christian Brim (09:20.066)
Just going through the process of the roadmap, I'm like, holy shit, this is this is a a lot more than I even thought.

Chaz Wolfe (09:27.058)
Yeah. Yeah, it's always more than we think. It's always more time, more money, more effort. but but good for you for for actually being able to sit with what you want. Because what I just heard you say is that you're a builder. And you know, a lavish life or like the perfect utopia is actually not what most entrepreneurs are after. We might be after a little freedom. which obviously we get choices in freedom with with some more cash, but

Christian Brim (09:50.19)
Sure.

Chaz Wolfe (09:55.515)
generally speaking, we're builders. We love the game. and I think, at least for me, the game is how long can I play, not how much can I amass? Although I think that there's different scorecards, sure. you know, I th I look at, you know, regardless of what you think of our current president, he's a builder. and and I look at people like that and I go

Christian Brim (09:59.215)
Yes.

Christian Brim (10:14.531)
Yes.

Chaz Wolfe (10:16.882)
I can only hope that I'm his age with the energy and the f and the passion and the excitement and the the the desire to get up and conquer, you know? Because otherwise to me I would have I feel like the game would be over. And then it's just like, I don't know about that.

Christian Brim (10:34.302)
Y yes. As as a quick aside, I don't know why I'm asking this. You brought up Trump, but I'm I'm gonna bring up Elon Musk. Did you did you remember? I did not, that Elon Musk was in Iron Man 2. He had a cameo in there. And and I was re-watching it and he's in that. And you know, s Tony Stark and he are chatting it up. Right. Exactly. Well, this was this was 15 years ago, right?

Chaz Wolfe (10:47.104)
I did not know this. Really?

Chaz Wolfe (10:56.03)
Yeah. He's kinda like the live version of Tony Stark.

Yeah.

Christian Brim (11:02.99)
and I was like, that's pretty wild. it really was kind of weird. And my wife was like, yeah, I knew he was in there. I'm like, You're so full of shit. Anyway,

Chaz Wolfe (11:05.93)
Foreshadowing.

Chaz Wolfe (11:12.638)
Yeah, no, I didn't know that.

Christian Brim (11:17.568)
I was I was reading on Substack somebody's note and they were talking about having the freedom of time. and I think freedom of time and freedom of money like have to coexist. Because if you just have time and no money, that's you know right exactly, right? Right. But a lot of entrepreneurs end up with

Chaz Wolfe (11:39.86)
Right. You're you're twenty two.

Christian Brim (11:47.697)
freedom of money but no time and he he put he put that out there of like you know people are people are are uncomfortable in in that freedom of time and and i i made the comment there's a quiet terror in that freedom of time at this point not at twenty two right and and i i

I did find myself there. And that's probably that was part of the reason why I was in that execution gap with my team was because I had built this business where I wasn't, it wasn't dependent upon me. And I'm like, I don't know what to do. Yeah.

Chaz Wolfe (12:34.152)
Mm. Yeah. It's an identity position. You know.

Christian Brim (12:37.75)
Y a hundred percent. And and that's what I I ended up coming to grips with was that my identity was

Deeply entwined with the success of the business, and that was not healthy. But I had to get to that quiet place to hear it.

Chaz Wolfe (13:00.916)
yeah. Well in the quiet place, yes, can reveal what the identity truly was that we weren't, you know, available to see. but then it can also identify what we talked about a few minutes ago of like the identity of a builder, which is that sometimes the quiet represents lack of purpose. and it doesn't it doesn't have to. That's not those aren't equivalent.

Christian Brim (13:21.996)
Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (13:25.778)
Because sometimes it takes quiet to then deepen the identity or go to the next level, which I'm a hundred percent a fan of. But I think that when when an especially an entrepreneur, you are wired a certain way. And we're very purpose-driven people, typically. Now, in the intentions that we live by inside of that purpose, that's a whole nother question. It's kind like the execution of the dream, right? It's just a whole nother level. But generally speaking, we we we want

To do good and we want to do. We're we want to be impactful and purposeful. And so in the quiet or in the slow, although there can be purpose in it, a lot of entrepreneurs lose their purpose be because of what you said. Their identity was wrapped up in the doing or the business success or the money, which is just a great opportunity to find the next version of yourself.

Christian Brim (13:56.48)
Yes.

Christian Brim (14:11.448)
Yeah. Yes.

Chaz Wolfe (14:18.942)
But it usually means, at least for guys like us, it's it's you know, on to the next thing that we'll build, that will impact something or someone.

Christian Brim (14:28.78)
Yeah, yes. And once I started going down that road and I, you know, I see I saw I saw a very strange convergence of technology in my industry and saw what I thought was possible. And I literally had to get I was I was at a seminar

With Christopher Lockhead. he was running, and I literally had to get up and walk out of the room because I was terrified. I was like, holy shit. Because what I thought was this was like a hundred times bigger. And but I didn't see it, right? And then I was like, I don't want that. Like that's that's right. I just wanted this. This was good. yeah. Are you familiar with Christopher Lockhead?

Chaz Wolfe (15:19.976)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chaz Wolfe (15:25.47)
I I've heard the name a couple of times, but I'm trying to like in my mind I'm trying to associate it as you were saying that.

Christian Brim (15:29.836)
He's the category pirates, category design guy. he was a CMO in Silicon Valley for a long time. He's maybe sixty. He's he's a little older than I am.

Chaz Wolfe (15:33.884)
Okay. Okay. Not ringing about I'm not.

Chaz Wolfe (15:42.461)
Okay. Yeah, maybe I'm thinking of somebody different. I I the the thing that I don't know, like you've said a couple times like the you know, when you can see it bigger than what it was originally, you know. That's exciting, but at the same time too, I think that the responsibility of power goes back to the my definition of a king. You see that and you're like, man, like I'd I would

Christian Brim (15:54.19)
Yeah.

Christian Brim (16:00.746)
A hundred percent.

Chaz Wolfe (16:08.25)
fill in the blank, right? I I'd be famous or a lot of people would know me or I'd be held to a st like whatever the responsibility of power looks like in that vision. And that's the part that you go like, ooh, I don't know. do I want to carry that weight? It actually it's it's kind of a funny I I elk hunt in the West, Bo elk hunt typically. Not in Kansas City, no. No, not a lot of elk there, but or here, but

Christian Brim (16:26.72)
Not in Kansas City. There are not a lot of elk in Kansas City.

Chaz Wolfe (16:32.754)
You know, I've been I've been, you know, two miles in on a wilderness trail, set up camp, and then another five miles further back with an opportunity, you know, my bow pulled back, and I've got a you know bull elk in my sights. And the question of do I even want to harvest this right now? Because I know as soon as he goes down the amount of work that it's gonna take to get that animal.

Christian Brim (16:55.094)
No, you don't.

Chaz Wolfe (17:00.97)
processed and and back down the mountain and then back down to the truck seven miles from where I stand today and go maybe I'll miss, you know. But it's the same thing you're talking about.

Christian Brim (17:08.63)
Mm.

Yeah. No, and that right. And and and I I my my father-in-law, he's mm, I think eighty-three now, eighty-four, but about five years ago, he was in his late 70s, he had both of his knees replaced. And the the that next hunting season he went out, he lives in Pagosa Springs, Colorado, and had his elk tag, and he went out and

Chaz Wolfe (17:34.235)
yeah, I found it. Let's go.

Christian Brim (17:39.417)
Killed a 700-pound bull, field dressed it, and hoofed it back with two brand new knees. He had them both done at the same time. I'm like, you're a psychopath. in any case, but but but but back to your your your point, you know, when you're young, you don't ask those questions. What's it gonna cost? You don't know to ask that question, right? Right. But when you you've been through some shit.

Chaz Wolfe (17:46.472)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's my kind of guy.

Chaz Wolfe (17:58.997)
Yeah. Right. What's the next step? What's gonna happen after this? What's the ripple effect?

Christian Brim (18:07.658)
And have some experience, you're like, mmm. And I I I realized my personal experience with this was I'm a I'm a private pilot, and about halfway, well, three quarters of the way through my initial flight training, I was on a solo cross country. I got into some rough that rough, it was turbulence.

And I remember sitting there thinking to myself, if I get back on the ground, I am never getting into I'm never flying again. Like I I don't want to do this. I'm not interested. Right. I get down a couple days later, I'm like, I really need to finish. Right. And I went through the rest of my flight training knowing that I was never gonna fly, but I couldn't quit.

And and I noticed this characteristic about myself that that thing that made me really good as an entrepreneur in the beginning of I I can't quit, I can't stop, I can't let go, was no longer serving me. And you know, i being able to put that down and say, if it's not serving you, why are you letting it run your your life? That like there's no reason for you to

Chaz Wolfe (19:15.902)
Yep.

Christian Brim (19:32.408)
Continue doing this, why are you doing it?

Chaz Wolfe (19:34.645)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it happens every single day. You know, the the skill I I even I just did an event in Cancun I mentioned but it was our family mastermind and we do a business day and we do relationships, you know, speakers for relationships, we do, you know, some sessions for the kids and teach them how to think like an entrepreneur and investor and you know, this this concept of you know, like the things that made me great in business, my risk tolerance, my my drive, my push.

Christian Brim (19:59.193)
Mm.

Chaz Wolfe (20:01.32)
Have those eroded certain things in my family? and the answer typically is yes, because you know, most entrepreneurs don't quote unquote know how to turn it off. And my message to entrepreneurs is don't. you're crazy. You're amazing. You have this intensity for life. Don't turn it off when you come home to your family or to your wife or to your husband. You just gotta redirect the energy. to so to your point, you know, the this this

Christian Brim (20:04.91)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (20:28.126)
Like this hold that you had, like, I can't quit. I don't know how to let this go, is actually the right type of energy. That's that's what a winner feels like. You know, Tim Grover describes it as a as a cleaner in his book Relentless. Like these are just people that just it doesn't matter the circumstances. I will win. Period. There is no more to the sentence or paragraph or book. And that person is what you described. I don't know how to lose, I don't know how to let go. It just I learned how to redirect that energy to go like, it's not my effort anymore.

It's now building a system, building a frame, building people, building leaders, building a team. And and I obviously you've spoken to these things, so you know how to do this, and you probably do it with your clients too, but you know, it's just a redirect. you know, I can go, you know, the same, this is the same lane of information, but you know, chapter 11 of Think and Grow Rich, sex transmutation, kind of a weird topic to talk about on on a business podcast, but it's the exact same thing that we're talking about, saying most.

Christian Brim (20:59.394)
Yes. Yes.

Chaz Wolfe (21:24.208)
Unbelievably successful men are incredibly highly sexed individuals. What that means is that they want to do it a lot. Fantastic. There's a certain energy that comes with that. Great. So I personally love to have sex all the time and lots, but but could I could I learn how to recognize that energy and go, like, ooh, I'd love to have sex with my wife right now. But instead of doing that right this second, I'm gonna utilize that energy.

and redirect it. It's the exact same principle that we're talking about all across the board.

Christian Brim (21:55.859)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, I and I and I for me it was a lot of understanding why I do things. Like that self understanding of like, why do I think what I am thinking? Why do I feel what I'm feeling? Why am I doing what I'm doing? and I suppose some of that just comes with age. But you know, you it it is that.

recognition that who you are and those characteristics are immutable. Like you're you can't turn it off, to your point. My my wife I remember early on, was like, Why are you doing more? Like is this not enough? And I I I I had I I don't know if it was temerity or stupidity to say, well, did Rembrandt quit painting? Did did Mozart

Quit composing, like no, that's just who they were, right? and and it but but but you have to understand that about yourself and then then you know have that that ability to really sit with something before you embark on it to to count the cost, to understand what you're committing to.

Chaz Wolfe (23:16.542)
Yeah. Yeah. Because when we commit we're all in. It it's I can't I don't know how to let go. I don't know how to lose. I'm and so I'm if I'm going in and black and white, it's all in or I'm all out. which I think is what gives our obviously kind of like intense, you know, aura about us, our the presence, but but then it's also the reason why like I it's at least at this stage, it's easy for me to say no because

Christian Brim (23:20.438)
Exactly.

Christian Brim (23:27.781)
Right.

Chaz Wolfe (23:42.921)
when I look at something I go, well that's cool, but like that doesn't get me what I really want, so I just say no. And be Well, I d well, actually thanks, but no thanks. Like it's just really, really easy to say, No, no, no, yes, and then I'm all in. And, you know, I think a lot of entrepreneurs in general are like that, but it's it's the the sub point there is in learning what do you really want, like you mentioned earlier, so that way you can apply that to your decision making filter, each day. It's funny how you're talking about, you know, the the ability to

Christian Brim (23:42.979)
Yes.

Chaz Wolfe (24:13.584)
still want more and and how people who don't relate to that, your wife, my wife, many others, and it's like our desire for more to them speaks ungratefulness of what's current, or or an unsettling, like it's not good enough. And and I don't know about you for you, but that's not the case for me. And and I created this phrase for our clients this is maybe five maybe four or five years ago, but just grateful but not done.

Christian Brim (24:28.205)
Mm-hmm.

Christian Brim (24:31.79)
Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (24:41.49)
And that phrase embodies this like, I can be here in the moment, which most entrepreneurs actually struggle with. And so that there's kind of two parts here is being able to be present with those people that are more present than typically we are, with circumstances, being able to reflect back and go like, wow, I have come a long way. It's the gap in the gain type of reflection. And being able to go like, man, like this is good. Like I've I've done a good work or we've created a good life or we've

Christian Brim (25:00.353)
Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (25:09.032)
Raise amazing children or look at the team, look at the impact, whatever. But I'm not done. And that part is unrelatable to those that don't feel that way. But but forever since I created that phrase, as soon as I say it, as soon as and the other person knows it, feels it, they're like, that's good. Simple as it is, grateful but not done. Because of what you just described. I will fight for more until I no longer have life in these lungs, because that is just how I've been created.

Christian Brim (25:27.692)
Yeah. No, I

Christian Brim (25:39.533)
Yeah. I'm gonna pivot here. going back to your story that I read before the show, you talked about how starting out that your focus and I don't think you didn't use the word obsession, but your your commitment to to work was not healthy for your family.

what what you you mentioned a I I think it was like your wife was getting portraits for the kids. Like I what what what was that slap in the face of like something's not right?

Chaz Wolfe (26:23.134)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the the general sentiment that you're describing is my obsession, my all inness, this black and white stuff that we were just talking about. coupled with most entrepreneurs, in fact if it's about eighty five percent of wealth is generated in the first generation. So it means most entrepreneurs who have done anything successful, it's because they did it themselves and they weren't handed it. and so

Christian Brim (26:47.502)
Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (26:48.332)
subconsciously we are trying to provide financially, we're trying to provide security, we're trying to do the things that our parents or grandparents weren't able to do. And so those two things coupled together, this obsession all in nature versus and then mixed with trying to accomplish things that have never been accomplished before, typically has a a way of blindsiding us to all of the things. And in fact, actually it's it's not it's it's how the brain works, it's it's what focuses. It's I'm gonna go all in.

And and by the definition of blinders, everything else gets cut out. And and I don't think necessarily that's wrong. I think that there's seasons and then there's really good communication that comes with that, especially with the family. And so yeah, for the first, you know, probably seven, eight, maybe even nine years of our of our business career. So this would have been twelve ish years into marriage, I'm just all in and we're having babies at the same time and and you know, like

That's an overwhelming thing in itself. And yeah, there was a period of time there where where my wife would have told you that she felt like a single mom. even so much to the so where she had family photos taken of us. unfortunately, that wasn't the slap in the face. It was looking back at it, I go, ooh, that was probably the moment that I should have felt the slap in the face. but it it wasn't really until just later of me just going like,

Christian Brim (27:54.136)
Mm.

Christian Brim (28:06.37)
Right.

Chaz Wolfe (28:14.184)
I grew up single mom family. And she said she feels like a single mom. Like, first off, how dare she? Because she's not a single mom. And like, I don't know how my mom did it at all. And you've got me, my kids have a dad, like, come on. But then once I, you know, let the ego down and like actually let the defense, you know, out of the way, then I was like, okay, what what I'm really hearing her say is that we're not doing this together. I'm over here in my lane, she's over here in her lane, and we're building separately.

Christian Brim (28:16.28)
Hm.

Mm.

Chaz Wolfe (28:43.294)
And we need to build together. and for an entrepreneur, that doesn't mean necessarily that I spend eight hours a day with my family and then less time at work, although it can. Again, if we go back to building systems and people and leaders, like you can have time freedom. but but for builders, just spending more time with the family isn't necessarily gonna like scratch the edge or get the the thing done. Building your family will though.

Christian Brim (28:45.218)
Mm-hmm.

Chaz Wolfe (29:12.02)
I had this moment, my daughter, my second daughter, who's ten now, she was probably f three or four. she had we were she wanted me to play Uno with her. And I was like, Okay, you know, we'll play Uno, you know, and so it's it's her and and actually she may have been a smidge older and my son was maybe there. I can't remember exactly, but I'm playing Uno with very young kids and not jazzed about it at all. And

Christian Brim (29:38.936)
Right.

Chaz Wolfe (29:40.543)
I had this like epiphany moment of like, if I just if I'm a builder, going back to the identity, if I'm a builder, then playing Uno is not playing Uno. I get to use this frame called an Uno game to build my daughter, to build my son. I'm just talking to his nervous system at that point. He's not even here consciously. So what can I do? I go we can we can we can frame up the game, we can talk about.

Christian Brim (29:56.291)
Mm.

Chaz Wolfe (30:06.012)
Attitude. We can talk about learn winning and losing, and like all these things that need to go into this human. And then now it's like, now I get excited about that because that's building, right? Now I have a purpose, not a distraction. It's not something that I have to do. I get to do this because this is my daughter. Ooh. You know, so again, making it purposeful, making it identity-based is a big part of what we've talked about here today. But for me, I didn't understand early on.

Christian Brim (30:15.552)
Right. It's not a distraction from right.

Chaz Wolfe (30:33.736)
you know, because of the blinders, because of the all-inness, how to have that same level of set of obsession or, you know, identity with purpose for my family. But once once you understand that, like if you just rewind what we've just talked about here and just hear that one more time talking to the listener and go like, I don't actually shut it off. I just come home with the same level of intensity to build my daughter or build my marriage. And I can get really, really intentional about the actions that I take.

just like in the business because if I want a new sale, what do I do? I've gotta have outreach and then those set appointments and then we close a deal or whatever that sales process looks like over there. So okay, great. So if I'm not reaching out to anybody, I'm like how am I gonna get a deal? Well I'm not. If I'm not XYZing over here with my marriage or kids, then how are we gonna get a deal? Or how are we gonna move them forward? Well you're not. Once you get that though, it's actually pretty easy.

Christian Brim (31:25.037)
Yeah.

It seems like I mean, my experience with my own marriage and you know, viewing my colleagues over the years

That entrepreneurs have a a a pretty abysmal record with their their marriages and families. you've described something that I think is is very eloquent, a very eloquent solution. What does it take to get them to see that? What how do you how do you get them the the proverbial horse to water?

Chaz Wolfe (32:09.48)
Yeah, well I think first off, you have to talk to the deepest seated why or purpose or identity, kind of all in the same little bucket here. And if someone says that they're doing it for their family, like I did for so many years, it's a really easy question to say, okay, great. And so you're doing it for them so that they can live a great life without you?

So the very thing that you are building for them keeps you from them? The very thing that you built for freedom doesn't give you freedom? Hmm. Interesting. And you know, most people go like, well, okay, you know, like start the the the defense starts to deteriorate, you know.

And then it's just a matter of desire. Again, going back to Think and Grow Rich, the the the first principle is desire. If you have no desire, if you have no burning flame, then good luck. I I don't I don't know what to do for you. And so if if if you're not just lip service that you are building the business so that it can serve your family, or that you are building a life for your family, and that's not just lip serv lip service and that's real desire, then I can speak to that and I can show you the aha moment of going like, I get it.

J just for example, like in this last event we just we just came back from Cancun a couple days ago. And I'm sitting in a room of there's probably fifty people, fifty adults in the room, and my wife and I are going through the family operating system. And well what's a family operating system? Well, I mean what's a business operating system? You know, we've got meeting cadence, we've got ownership of who owns what and who like w who what what role do I have? What are the KPIs associated to such? How is it measured? Who keeps me accountable? And so

Guess what? Your family works the same way. Although nobody does it. And so I'm talking about like basic stuff to me of like who owns the dishes. And as basic as that sounds, hardly anybody talks about it, let alone maps it out on an operating system. Now the dishes aren't that big of a deal, but there it can't be both of us. Now I can be a support player, but someone's gotta own it. Do we let anybody in our businesses are there two people that own

Chaz Wolfe (34:27.466)
Task? N well, why not?

Christian Brim (34:31.063)
Because then nobody knows.

Chaz Wolfe (34:31.946)
'Cause then nobody knows or does it. Why don't we operate like this inside of our families? So once you can kinda make the correlation between like what you do in your business can be done in your family and then actually your family is why you started this whole thing to begin with. You've just been giving lip service this whole time. It's like,

Christian Brim (34:51.991)
Yeah, and and I you you talked about the the intent and the desire and and I I think that a lot of entrepreneurs I I I I d don't know if this is a nature nurture th question, but regardless, I d I don't think that a lot of entrepreneurs really ever

Ask themselves what's driving them? What what is their intent? Right. And they might have a surface level answer which sounds responsible of like I'm doing this for my family and financial security, et cetera. But that's that's not r necessarily the answer, right? So you you mentioned about

Chaz Wolfe (35:22.612)
Yeah.

Chaz Wolfe (35:26.601)
Much in.

Christian Brim (35:41.037)
you know, overcoming financial insecurity maybe in in your family of origin or your, you know, extended family and like I don't want to be like that. I think that a lot of us go through life with these programs running that that are are motivating us are causing us to think, act and do things without ever really

questioning them like right and I don't know about 95% Yeah right and and and so how do you get people to reflect on that?

Chaz Wolfe (36:12.05)
Yeah, to the tune of about ninety five percent of Iraq.

Chaz Wolfe (36:26.098)
Well, I I'm I you don't. the person th th the Bible says th the for the one the for the for the one that has ears to hear or eyes to see, right? Like I I had a mentor, I don't know, this was probably five years ago now, and we did some really cool brain subconscious training and I'd been doing that for

Ten or so years before I met him, and he just was able to kind of just take what I had been learning, kind of self-implemented and and take it to the next level, which is super cool. But he he shared something. He's like, you know, Jazz, what I have learned in working with, you know, I would say incredibly successful individuals, is that more success, just a mere preference.

Of course, everybody wants more success. And that might be in their family, it might be financially, whatever, right? Whatever their their seed at their their DY. but it's just a preference, meaning like, if I get it, I get it. If I don't, I don't. Like I'm I'm I'm good. You know? I'm happy with where I'm at, in essence. And a very small percent, like two percent or less of the people demand more.

And that message, the message that he was sharing with me around subconscious brain training, the message that we're talking about right now of like being able to reflect on like who you really are made to be, what your identity is, how that ties into your your vision and like reverse engineering that back into daily actions that you hold yourself and your team and your system accountable for.

I don't know if there's ten thousand people listening to the show right now, maybe a handful. But they're gonna hear it. For the ones that have ears, they're gonna go, my goodness. Ha ha I knew there was a way. I knew it. Freaking Christian, he knows it, you know? And so that's just that's all it is. I don't I don't I I think I think guys like you and I just keep talking.

Chaz Wolfe (38:33.938)
The right ones here.

Christian Brim (38:36.054)
Yeah, I and and and I I think that's largely why I do this show is because for those people that will hear it, they they i it will help. And I I'm very aware that most people will hear it and th the it won't it won't crack the surface. and and I guess you're right. Like I mean

the the the old Chinese proverb of when the when the student is ready the teacher will appear. So, you know

Chaz Wolfe (39:09.758)
Yeah. I s I spoke to a room of plumbers, this was back October last year, so you know, eight, nine months ago, and there was about a hundred hundred guys in the room, and I was like, Look, guys, statistics tell me this. Two of you are gonna do something with this. Not just with my talk, but with the weekend. The rest of you, you're gonna go home, it's gonna have been a fun weekend, you're gonna have met some cool people, and you won't do a darn thing. And just last week there was a gentleman who was in that room.

On that family mastermind with me, because he reached out and said, Hey, we got I got I gotta bring my family on that trip. And I would I barely even talked about it in that in that room. but he said to me, he was like, I r I don't remember everything you said, but I remember you said something about there was only gonna be two people in the room, and I told myself, I'm gonna be freaking one of those two people. Those are the ears that we're talking about. When someone hears that and goes, well, that won't be me. watch.

I I got my notepad. I got my notes. I know exactly. In fact, I've already translated it from my notes into my calendar for Monday morning. I recognize it's only Saturday night and I'm still at the event, but I'm already got this stuff planned out. It's on my calendar. I've already got meetings scheduled with my team. X, Y, and Z. Like the from learning to implementation, there is no gap for the ones that are ready to hear and the and and to be the next level. That's all that's all leveling up really is. You know what I mean?

Christian Brim (40:32.898)
Yes. Yes, and you're you're right. I mean the the Pareto principle and its fractal nature is ubiquitous in human behavior. And you know, twenty percent of the people produce eighty percent of the results and four percent produce fifty percent. And you know, on and on it goes. And and people look at

the distribution of wealth and they're like, well that's outrageous. And I'm I'm like, that's human nature. That's that's all that's all of you know, the six thousand years of human history is is that right there. You're not changing it. You you can't change it.

Chaz Wolfe (41:05.194)
Lines up just about right.

Chaz Wolfe (41:14.74)
Yep. Nope. Nope. Figure out where you where you add value and and you will be measured accordingly.

Christian Brim (41:23.212)
Hundred percent. Chaz, how do people find out more about your retreats and gathering the kings?

Chaz Wolfe (41:29.49)
Yeah, gatheringtheKings.com is our website. You can take a look at some of the events we've done in the past and or our coaching options there. We work with folks in a group setting as well as one on one. But, you know, these are our clients are down to earth. you know, a lot of a lot of times blue collar business owners, but they w they wanna they wanna grow something that gives them both the time and the money freedom. mostly because they're family, but you know, I think that.

the game, like we talked about, is what we're all after. we love the game and we love to be around people that love the game. So if that's you, go to gathering the kings dot com and figure out if we're part of your next level or not.

Christian Brim (41:57.901)
Uh-huh.

Christian Brim (42:08.334)
I love it. Listeners will have that link in the show notes. If you like what you've heard, please rate the podcast, share the podcast, subscribe to the podcast. Until next time, remember you are not alone.