Jacob Rupp: From Rabbi to Coach

Summary

In this episode, Christian Brim interviews Jacob Rupp, a former Orthodox rabbi turned coach. They explore Jacob's journey from wanting to be a rabbi to becoming a coach of coaches, emphasizing the importance of personal alignment in both personal and business life. Jacob shares insights on the necessity of having a coach, the interplay between spirituality and business success, and how personal issues can affect professional performance. In this conversation, Jacob discusses the spiritual aspects of business building, emphasizing that entrepreneurship is a creative and spiritual endeavor. He shares insights on personal growth through adversity, the importance of humility, and the lessons learned from his relationship with his father. The dialogue explores the significance of coaching, the value of self-discovery, and the impact of parental relationships on personal development.

Takeaways

• Jacob's journey to becoming a rabbi was driven by a desire to impact people positively.
• The transition from rabbi to coach was a natural progression for Jacob, focusing on helping others find purpose.
• Coaching is essential for personal and professional growth; even coaches need coaches.
• Spiritual alignment is crucial for success in business and personal life.
• Personal and business issues are intertwined; addressing one often helps the other.
• A coach without a coach lacks credibility and effectiveness.
• Understanding the luxury market is vital for selling high-end coaching services.
• Many people overlook spirituality in their pursuit of success.
• The enemy within can lead to the downfall of even the best organizations.
• Jacob emphasizes the importance of teaching others how to monetize their skills. Business building is a spiritual journey.
• Clients often need help to find their own answers.
• The best coaching creates space for clients to discover solutions.
• Personal growth often comes from facing adversity.
• Reconciliation with parents can lead to valuable life lessons.
• Humility is essential in recognizing one's own value.
• Entrepreneurs must be open to seeking help from others.
• The relationship with parents shapes our understanding of success.
• Success is defined by the quality of relationships we maintain.
• Helping others is a crucial aspect of personal fulfillment.

Visit the Rupp Group to learn more.

Want to be a guest on The Chris Project? Send Christian Brim a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/chrisproject

Transcript

Christian Brim (00:01.23)
We'll have to recreate.

Jacob (00:02.63)
Yes.

Christian Brim (00:04.428)
Welcome to another episode of the Chris project. I am your host Christian Brim. Joining me today the esteemed I don't want to say infamous not yet but the esteemed Jacob Rupp Jacob.

Jacob (00:16.914)
I'm working hard for that infamy. And I happen to believe you are probably one of the most talented interviewers that I've heard. And I listened to quite a few podcasts. No, I am actually deeply impressed by the level of depth and insights you get from people.

Christian Brim (00:24.132)
Okay.

Christian Brim (00:32.674)
Well, you you may regret that after after today's episode. I don't know. Well, we'll go digging. Yes. Yes. All right. So let me introduce you a little bit since Jacob, you are my coach and I've been working with you for three years. I know a little bit about you and I'll let you fill in the blanks because I want you to go back to the origin story. But Jacob is a coach of coaches. He is

Jacob (00:37.34)
Probably, that's what I said at the beginning.

Christian Brim (01:01.942)
I don't know if the word is X, but a former how about a former Orthodox Rabbi? Yes.

Jacob (01:06.136)
X implies I did something to get fired and lose that. So I prefer former as well. Thank you.

Christian Brim (01:10.666)
Yes, former Orthodox rabbi, married with four children. Yes, four children, two girls, two boys.

Jacob (01:19.186)
Three Girls and a Boy. And My Dog, My Dog, which was really the best.

Christian Brim (01:21.098)
yes. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. I you have a certain affection for your dog. Yes. Yes. So, Jacob, let's go back and tell because I still find this fascinating. How does a kid from Southern California? Is that where you're from? Northern California? How did how did you end up as a as a rabbi first?

Jacob (01:29.276)
her.

Jacob (01:42.716)
Northern, Northern, that's okay, it's close, California.

Christian Brim (01:50.806)
Let's let's start that.

Jacob (01:52.466)
I decided I wanted to be a rabbi before I believed in God. I couldn't read a single word of Hebrew and I had no idea what Judaism was except that I was Jewish. So, you know, they say that you can take the, what is it, the kid out of the ghetto, but you can't take the kid out of the ghetto or whatever that thing might be. Yeah, so this was something that went back. I was getting, I want to be the president. And for quite a while, then I heard this rabbi speak and I was like, okay, I can be a rabbi. Now again,

Christian Brim (02:10.124)
Yes.

Jacob (02:22.406)
This had nothing to with Judaism. It was the idea that like I wanted to impact people and have them live in a positive way. And I happened to be Jewish. And so what Jewish, now again, with all love and respect to the rabbi that I grew up with, I never even thought that he was inspiring. He could connect, but this guy was animated. He was amazing. It was funny. I saw him about 25 years after that initial time I heard this rabbi speak. was the head of my grandparents congregation in LA. And I went up to him and now again, I had become

went from completely secular, know, no God, the Torah, the Bible's not divine, you know, I will eat, if it's shrimp bacon and everything, I'll eat all of it at the same time. It's like, you know, to becoming like at a certain point, you know, white and black with a big black hat. you know, and I went up to this guy after seeing him at a close friend's wedding about 25 years later, I was like, look, you made one, I heard you make one speech, you changed my life, I became a rabbi.

Christian Brim (03:05.539)
Yes.

Jacob (03:21.298)
I said, you actually got to figure it out. I don't know if I had to become as, as extremely religious as I ended up becoming. He's like, I don't know why you did that, but the rabbi, I think it was a good call. So, um, that's how I started. Um, I met my, my wife, when we met, I met her when I was, uh, obese at 18 and, she was very into, uh, she, know what she was. I was, she was dating lots of people and I, and I, at that point had started my business career, although I didn't know I had started my business career of, really trying to figure out what my unique selling proposition was.

And if you're obese and have a serious social anxiety around asking women to go out with you, at least you're Jewish. So I really honed in on that and really built up the Jewish thing. the hat note, actually, that was the reverse. The truth is, if I'm getting very vulnerable, probably that as well. I was not wearing a hat by that point. I was just running the fraternity, and I was running the services. And I invited her to come to services, and I invited her to come to the fraternity.

Christian Brim (04:01.998)
So the hat was the selling point?

Christian Brim (04:10.561)
Okay.

Jacob (04:21.092)
she actually found like Orthodox Judaism, like, because her background, she came, she she was like a blank slate when it came to Judaism. And so whatever without kind of outside of the scope of this podcast, there's sort of like what we call Orthodox, which is basically what Jews practiced for the, you know, 3000 years that we've been around. And then a couple other strands built up that really have no philosophic connection to Orthodox Judaism at all, which is what I was raised with. So.

Julie was very much like an open slate. She's like, well, if we're going to do this Jewish thing, why don't we do what everybody always did versus like try to recreate it? I was really uncomfortable with that. But ultimately, when I realized that was the direction she was going, then I think I went in that same direction as well to be completely open and honest and transparent.

Christian Brim (05:02.52)
So you didn't grow up in a Jewish home or practicing?

Jacob (05:05.626)
My mother, my mother, yeah, practicing not my mother's very my mother, my father is not Jewish. My mother was Jewish. But yeah, we up like driving on the Sabbath, which is, you know, one of the things you're not really supposed to do from a biblical Jewish biblical perspective, non kosher food in the house. I knew Judaism was important. I grew up on a healthy diet of like the Holocaust and and and unhealthy eating practices. And that was pretty much the extent of my religion. My mother would be offended if I said that. I'm not going to send to her. But that's that's yeah, there was there was more than that. We kept the holidays.

How's that? My grandmother was short? Yeah.

Christian Brim (05:37.166)
Very good. So okay. How does a rabbi become a coach?

Jacob (05:46.268)
So what I love the most about being a rabbi, and that was kind of the common theme throughout all of it, is I loved impacting people. I loved impacting people. I loved helping people live a more meaningful, connected life. I really got my stripes in the trenches of, worked at UCLA for about a decade, dealing with very, very intelligent kids that had no reason to buy into an antiquated religion. So I really had to be good enough at making it.

Practical and appealing and again, you know those those fundamental skills of can you make this relevant in my life? and what I found was that a lot of the things that everyone looks for in life in terms of a Sense of purpose a sense of self. How do I know who I am? How do I have meaningful relationships in my life? Those were all common themes that I realized weren't exclusive to college students alone and in a lot of ways I realized that Jews and non-jews

really appreciate having a good relationship with themselves, with their creator, within their business. And so it was a very painful natural transition when I realized I was four kids in, sending them to private school in LA and completely broke. That eventually I figured out and fired because I'm hardly employable as an individual. That I found that this was a calling that I could actually do pretty well with and make a good living doing.

Christian Brim (07:05.102)
And that was, you've been doing it how long?

Jacob (07:07.728)
I mean, at this point, like coaching.

Christian Brim (07:09.762)
Well, when did you quit the clergy?

Jacob (07:12.978)
Again, that was a longer process, but I really started coaching about, I would say probably over a decade ago.

Christian Brim (07:19.438)
All right, very good. And now you coach coaches, talk about that.

Jacob (07:22.546)
I yes, well, you one of the things is the people that make I mean, it was both a strategic business decision in the sense that the people that made the most money in the gold rush by far with people that sold the jeans and the axis. And so I think that that there is a mass. The Jews, yes, yes, yes, you nailed it. There it is. People make it all the money at the end of the city. You said it. I mean, gosh, anyway, I was going to say, but the but the end it was going to be like, is that true? Yes, it's true.

Christian Brim (07:34.36)
Yes. The Levi's. Yes.

Christian Brim (07:48.501)
Hmm, yes it is true.

Jacob (07:50.354)
Anyway, so what I noticed was I think there's a massive, what do call, inefficiency in the way the education works and the that people make money. Most people spend lots of money not to make a lot of money and wind up hitting the work that they do. And what I realized was that most people know how to do one thing better than a lot of other people and people would actually pay them for that insight. And so if you have people that are passionate about the things that they're doing and making good money doing it,

there's always gonna be, I see kind of like this healthy marketplace of ideas where we can always get good. Again, like why do I have to reinvent the wheel? If I could hire a physical trainer that's built the kind of body I want and knows how to me build mine, I'm paying him for speed and accuracy in terms of getting to where I actually wanna go. So I've realized that in anything I actually care about, I want coaching or support around it. And I get coaching in my religion, I get coaching in my career, I get coaching in how I sell, my mindset, my marriage. There's nothing I don't.

really care about that I don't invest in coaching. And so I realized I want to be a part of that because again, like I came from a background, I ran and like I was a nonprofit professional, whatever, nonprofit, I worked in nonprofit, I was broke, the joke, I couldn't get work anywhere else that allowed me to feed my family. Granted again, sending four kids to private school in LA is still, you have to make a lot of money to be able to do that. But bottom line was,

Christian Brim (08:59.074)
Right.

Christian Brim (09:07.958)
Yes.

Jacob (09:10.834)
I knew that if I had the skill sets, and that was the cool thing, is after working with enough entrepreneurs, I learned the fundamentals of how do you build a business. You have to be clear on what you're offering. You have to be clear on how to sell it. You have to be able to make money in the process. So once I sort of learned that, I realized if I can teach other people how to do that so that they could make good money and do what they love, that would be a contribution to the world I'd be very happy to make.

Christian Brim (09:35.394)
I love that. So you mentioned that you do coaching. One of the things that we've talked about and I think is a true axiom is that a coach needs a coach. So what do you say to that? if someone works with a coach, does that coach need a coach?

Jacob (09:48.774)
Mm-hmm.

Jacob (10:00.394)
I've never seen it work without that. Meaning, you know, one of the things I, in between my decade long career debacles, I sold insurance for a very short period of time. And one of the things I noticed when you sell insurance, the first question your prospects ask is, do you have this product? And if you don't, they probably, again, or to make me sound even more impressive, when I was trying to buy, I have larger, my kids are getting bigger. And so I was...

Christian Brim (10:15.788)
Yes.

Jacob (10:25.458)
looking to swap out my, or I entertain illustrious guests like yourself that are seven feet tall. getting in and out of the Porsche 911 is a little bit of a strain. And so I was looking at bigger vehicles and I went to park my car at the Lexus dealer and the guy comes out and spent the entire time talking about my Porsche and didn't spend a single second with the Lexus. So at the end of the day, if you don't buy what you're selling, neither is anybody else. So a coach without a coach is ultimately, I think, kind of a farce.

in the sense that they're not part of the process that they're facilitating other people in. Again, I've, God, been around really successful people in a wide variety of areas, and I've never seen the facilitator or the master not themselves be even more immersed in the work than the people that they're supporting. In jujitsu and weightlifting, like if that person's not spending more time on the mat or in the gym than all the people coming, like they're not gonna be good at what they do. It's just, I've never seen it be any other way.

Christian Brim (11:20.046)
I started my first mastermind, had our first meeting Friday, and one of the people sells a high ticket item. I believe he coaches students, like very high performing students, like people much smarter than you and I. no, it didn't attend me.

Jacob (11:43.494)
Mm-hmm. Doesn't take much for me, but you're sharp.

Christian Brim (11:48.834)
But it was interesting that he said that he was in the mastermind because he knew that he needed to spend a lot of money in order to have the mindset to charge a lot of money. What do you say about that?

Jacob (12:05.51)
I'm vigorously nodding for those that are just listening to the audio. Yes, yes, it's such a mindset. It's like, you know, one of the things is, you know, I heard this from a coach that I learned from the, has a budget for coaching. Nobody needs coaching. It's like, do you want coaching? And so if you're moving into the world of wands, ultimately you're offering a luxury product, right? Again, I don't think coaching, yeah, there's some people that coach specifically around crisis, but you know, again, the people that are coaching probably have the needs to spend more on the crisis that's being solved.

Christian Brim (12:07.936)
Yes, yes, yes.

Jacob (12:34.736)
So since you're anyway selling a luxury product, you have to understand the world of luxury products. So if you're buying a jet, right, or you're buying a watch, a high-end watch or a high-end car or any high-end thing, there's a way that it's marketed. You're speaking to the potential of the person who actually gives a crap about the watch or the wallet or the belt or the car. Like it doesn't actually matter, but when people go and buy, it's not just, need this technical service to get me from here to there.

Christian Brim (12:57.751)
Right.

Jacob (13:03.698)
The thing that we buy speaks about who we are, who we wanna be, how we present ourselves, how we wanna be seen by other people, right? So that idea of learning how to think, again, I sent out to my coaching group today a reel of watching a guy sell jets. And so the guy's budget was a 10 to $15 million jet, and he was literally selling the way I teach people how to sell coaches. He didn't pitch a damn thing. He asked questions. So how often do you travel? How, you know, how many?

Christian Brim (13:11.416)
Yes, yes.

Jacob (13:32.914)
What passengers do you need? Do you want to be able to stand up? How tall are you? Right? So he was really a trusted advisor as opposed to a guy that's pitching. Hey, know, Hyundai's having a sale right now before the end of the year. You know, get X, Y, and Z. Like, no luxury person is going to buy that shit. It's expensive now. It's expensive later. And the question is, can you afford it? And if you want to afford it, cool. And if not, there's 100 other people that are more successful than you that can. And if you have that mindset, which only comes by being in the process of being in the world of people who want.

Again, Elon Musk does not have to work to make money, right? He's working, and again, he's working harder than all of us. That's the funny thing. Yes, his net worth has gone to about $500 billion and more than doubled. What is he doing? Now he's like running parts of the government. He's running like 15 new companies he's launching. Like, that's the whole point about the guy getting the Matt timer in the gym. Like, he's a good guy to coach other entrepreneurs because he's working harder than everybody else. And so that's it. have a luxury of being involved with it. It's like, it's a mindset. And if you're not on the same page, like,

can't use his name because I didn't ask your permission, but there's a gentleman we both know and like he built a very successful company and in the process his marriage suffered and now he helps other entrepreneurs with their marriages. And it's like that guy freaking gets it because if I'm trying to build a hundred million dollar company and someone that's making, you know, $70,000 a year is trying to tell me about work life balance, I'm like, what the F do you know? We're not in alignment. But if this guy says I built a hundred million dollar company and this is how I can do it. So then I'm automatically gonna get it. I'm sorry, I over talked, go ahead.

Christian Brim (14:42.615)
Right.

Christian Brim (14:54.434)
Yes.

No, no, you're highly caffeinated this morning. I love it.

Jacob (15:00.156)
Yeah, God, it's a problem. Do pre-writers like these then. uh-huh.

Christian Brim (15:03.872)
I accidentally had coffee last night. had movie night. watched my daughter moved into a new house and she invited us over to watch a Christmas movie. We watched Christmas Vacation, my personal favorite, and she had made coffee and no one was drinking it. So I had some and then of course I didn't go to sleep last night. That's all for that tangent. Let's go back to, let's pivot a minute. When you and I first started,

Jacob (15:16.43)
the best.

Christian Brim (15:34.178)
we ended up, mean, I, hired you at, well, let me back up again. I didn't initially hire you. You, you came along, with another advisor, a marketing advisor that I had hired. And, when we started working together, I didn't really know what, what I wanted or what I expected. but.

we ended up spending probably the first six months that we worked together on what I would call personal, not business, specifically around my marriage, which was in crisis at the time. looking back on it, I understand that personal and business is intermingled. really can't.

If one's suffering, the other's suffering. If you're suffering at home, you suffer at work and vice versa. What do you see with that interplay between the personal and business life and how you approach coaching?

Jacob (16:48.476)
So, you know, when a person is out of alignment, then you see it in all the crazy ways. The business is usually, again, and it depends obviously on how big the organization is and how directly the person in charge of it is in control. Again, in most places where I work, like the executive, the CEO is like very much involved. I try to work with people whose hands are on the business. If we're working with someone that, you know, runs a very large agency and like he's more or less offset everything, okay, so maybe it'd be a little bit different.

But there's a very, very clear line between, and I actually, get corrected, I'll be very honest about this, I actually had to get recalibrated by one of the coaches I was working with, because he said, what are your big goals? And I outlined my financial goal for 2025, then I outlined my relationship goal, and then I outlined my spiritual goal. And he's like, great job, and it's reversed. And I was like, shit, you're right. So at the end of the day, forget about the relationship. Usually when a person feels in alignment with,

their higher power to whatever extent. And again, I think that there's enough people that you and I like between people that believe in God, there's enough people out there. This is not crazy that if you're in alignment with God and you're feeling that you're feeling good with that, that's going to be like pillar number one, right? If a person, again, I'm not, there's all kinds of people we can speak to that have, don't have that relationship, whatever it is, but let's just assume you are a run of the mill person that believes in God, right? So that's gotta be lined up and working well for you. And if it doesn't, that's a big problem.

trickle down into your relationships with your marriage, your kids, yourself, and then that will trickle down into your business. If not, you're always going, again, because at the end of the day, it's interesting. You learn this in, again, I don't why I'm doing jujitsu, but also in weightlifting, it's like if you try to do a chest press, you're trying to do bench pressing and you're primarily using your shoulders or your triceps, those are much smaller muscles than your chest. Your chest is big. The big parts of the big muscles of your legs are big.

But if you're trying to use like the smaller muscles to move big weight, it won't work. So spiritual alignment and relational and self alignment is always gonna be those are the big muscles that allow us to make the changes in the business. Otherwise, you might wind up hurting yourself in the process because you'll overwork or whatever it might be, because you don't have the horsepower to really power yourself through your business if those things are out of alignment. Does that make sense the way I presented it?

Christian Brim (19:08.558)
No, it 100 % makes sense. And in retrospect, that was my experience. mean, as my marriage healed and then flourished, my business did too. But I think that to your point, had I tried to just fix the business, don't think that would have worked. mean, to me,

the problems that were presenting for myself were so intertwined and so common, like the feelings that I had at work were the same ones that I had at home. Like I couldn't address it in one capacity and not address it in the other, if that makes sense.

Jacob (19:50.162)
100%. Yeah, 100%. And again, like, I think that, again, you're dealing, if you think about business, you know, like you have, there's a lot more complexity, because you're dealing with multiple people, both within your company, the customers, there's many, many, many more variables out there. When it comes to you and your spouse, or you and yourself, it's more simple. It might seem more complex, but there's really only one or two players involved, so that it's actually the easier part to start with.

because there's less complexity involved. And once you can kind of heal in that area, it will then translate over to you being fully able to have the capacity to focus. Again, if you look at it, Rome fell, not because of any external thing, but it fell because it ate itself from the inside. And so a bad relationship with God, with ourselves, with our spouses, those are internal threats, the enemy within.

And once you can get that whole, like there's very little things that'll break a person. But if you don't have that whole, you could have the best organization, the best business. I've actually seen it and it gets torn to shit because the person was self-destructing. They were spending all of their money. I actually have a client and just their turnover rate was costing the company somewhere in the neighborhood of over $100 million a year. They were a big company. And I remember hearing that one of the executives,

was spending so much money on art, on watches, on cars, on this, on that. The whole company was basically just became a piggy bank for this guy and it more or less bankrupted. And surprise, surprise, the guy didn't have a great succession plan. The guy didn't have a great relationship with the, the relationship with his spouse was was non-existent. It was really, really tough. And again, I've, I was picking one, but there was actually, I've had two or three clients like this.

Christian Brim (21:33.23)
You mentioned the triad of personal, well, when you were defining your goals, was relationship, money, and spiritual. And I'll substitute business for money because that sounds better.

Jacob (21:55.9)
more appropriate.

Christian Brim (22:00.04)
My experience and maybe maybe this is just my lack of experience or the people that I've engaged with, but spiritual doesn't seem to be on anybody's radar. It doesn't seem to be and maybe it's just the circles that we move. like, so what you what you're saying to me, what I'm hearing is that people that come to you for coaching present with that symptom, like I don't know my purpose. I don't know why I'm here, like

Jacob (22:29.36)
No, I actually gave three of my clients, people who I was training to coach, a lot of shit about that specific, because they're like, I hope busy entrepreneurs find their core purpose. I'm like, I'm not hiring you for that. You gotta speak, again, most, again, I'm probably being deeply misogynistic, but I think that most, at least men who do big things, or even if they don't do big things, attempt big things, again, even building a small business is a very big thing. It's not.

Christian Brim (22:29.719)
Okay.

Christian Brim (22:54.83)
Sure.

Jacob (22:55.11)
It's it's selling one product is not, it's hard. Everything, it's not simple. So when you have people like this, to have an outside person come to you and say, I'm gonna help you find meaning and purpose and alignment in your life, we're like, get out of here with that shit, I don't need that. You know I'm saying? So there has to be a certain level, again, that's why the person that you, that we both know is very compelling who had that big exit, it's like, okay, that guy knows what it's like to get his hands dirty. So there has to be a level of,

Christian Brim (22:58.519)
Yes.

Jacob (23:22.01)
rapport and buy-in so you know this guy's actually seen enough shit to be able to help me. Right, so again, for some, a veteran or someone that's been through stuff, you automatically give them that kind of credibility, but it's important, it's important to see that. So I think that deep down, like all of us are, again, I think business building is very spiritual. You're literally being like the creator. You're creating something out of nothing. There's value that's being generated. And again, one of the, I saw recently a really cool insight that says the hardest part about business is there's no guarantee it's gonna work.

Christian Brim (23:27.341)
Right.

Jacob (23:51.506)
at the end of the day, like, you don't know, you know? And you've had all these people and like, marketing conditions will change. I had a client that like lost a crap I was working a bunch during COVID. He lost like a ton of money. And then Elon Musk tweeted something and his like, his like one of his companies like ticked up like $500 billion. And like, it just like, so there, I think, you know, again, the idea is like the luckier you are, the harder you prepare, the luckier you are. Like there's this concept that what we're doing is very spiritual work. And so what I found is the way that I will approach

Christian Brim (24:15.544)
Yes.

Jacob (24:21.404)
clients around their spirituality, around their relationships, is it has to be through why they're initially hiring me. If you're hiring me to get better in business, we'll look at those things as sort of an, and I won't go like lead with that. But ultimately, I think anyone that's been in business long enough and been successful enough will have a sense of humility to realize it's not them. They're not good enough to create the outcome that they've had. And that opens them up to being able to have a deeper conversation about like, what is this all for? What led me to do this? What am I gonna do with my wealth when I'm done? What am I gonna do with the people I'm helping?

Christian Brim (24:39.992)
Right.

Jacob (24:49.914)
I again, I found that and this is a lot coming from someone that's, I mean, spend a little bit of time as a rabbi. It's like, I think oftentimes like building businesses and being in business is the most spiritual work you can possibly do.

Christian Brim (25:01.698)
That is the money shot right there. I don't think a lot of people.

Jacob (25:05.042)
It has different context and different language, but that's fine. Keep going.

Christian Brim (25:09.046)
Well, I just don't, I don't think a lot of entrepreneurs think in those terms that what you just said that that is spiritual work. Is that your experience that when they come to you, they understand that spiritual impact that.

Jacob (25:25.98)
I try, if they don't understand, I mean, again, the idea is ultimately you bring people for what they want, but you sell them what they need, right? So, you know, I've yet to find, and the funny thing is like one of my biggest mentors and coaches was someone that was completely a religious and works with huge companies and charges crazy amounts of money, but he's essentially saying basic truisms from the Bible and from the Talmud. I went up to at the end of like one of his classes, I'm like,

You understand like all this stuff is like Jewish stuff. He's like, no, tell me. I was like, are you serious? Like, I thought he literally like copied all of our stuff. So the reality is in the world of manifestation, in the world of again, just like creating ideas and, and, know, getting, you look at anyone, I mean, it's the easiest to see in the world of sport because there's like a clear winner or loser in business. Like, again, I, I don't know. I don't know anyone that like, again, maybe you have a big exit, but then you're like, crap, now what do with all this money? Or now what do I do with my next step? And that was actually how we met was the person that connected us like.

We started working because he was trying to help people exit their companies. And he noticed that the biggest liability was that a lot of the guys that could exit their companies didn't want to because they didn't know what else to do after they leave. And that is a big problem for a lot of people. What do I do? So suffice to say that it helps a person start to realize that these problems are fundamental human condition issues, which kind of implies that we do have a soul and a religious path because ultimately,

We are doing very spiritual work. What does spiritual work mean? Again, it's providing value. It's creating out of nothing. It's doing the internal work to be able to actually rise the challenges of the marketplace. You can't have an ego. Did you sell it or did you not sell it? Okay, what happened? But it's interesting if you look at people, again, I like UFC, so you can see these champions, but also in the world of basketball, Babe Ruth, people call their shots. So the human mind, if you can't see it, you won't be able to get there.

And if you get there once, it'll be an accident. But the people that are consistently successful, it's because they've already seen it in their minds. They've created a lot of clarity and framework around it. So when they get there, it's just recognizing where they were going to go anyway, isn't this new thing that they've already seen.

Christian Brim (27:35.446)
What are the usual symptoms that, like when you're coaching somebody, coaches, but entrepreneurs, not to say that coaches aren't entrepreneurs. Okay, so, So what are some of the common symptoms they present with?

Jacob (27:48.69)
That's I was gonna say. That's the thing, it's all the same stuff. But go ahead, let's say I'm working with someone that runs a non-coaching company.

Jacob (28:03.388)
Great question. They usually are held back from what they want. Meaning, if, and again, I've met people and I literally like, I don't know how I can help them. So usually the people that I work with have a problem or they have a goal or a vision. And one of the two things you're present, if you don't have a problem and if you don't have a place that you're going or you're already on track to go, so like there's not much for me to do no matter what.

I started working with a gentleman that I absolutely love. Again, I tell people he's got more companies than I can count on my fingers. He's older than me, he's smarter than me, he's 100,000 times more richer than I am. So why the heck is he hiring me? So the reality is when we got on a call, what we identified was he was so in his companies, he couldn't get out of his companies. And literally what I did was I sat with him and gave him space for him, again, what the hell do I know to help him?

Christian Brim (28:55.182)
Hmm.

Christian Brim (29:01.805)
Right.

Jacob (29:02.436)
and all the stuff that I like, I've never done anything that he's done. Bottom line is though, I created an island in time, he invested a shitload of money and he sat on that island with me and it was like no joke. Again, I kind of protect the identity of everybody that I work with unless they want to disclose, but like in the third time we met, we had a breakthrough. There was something that had been bothering for seven years and we realized through this, he solved like,

10 different problems with one person and he was like, he could not believe it. Now again, I didn't have any idea that was gonna happen, but because I work with smart people that are motivated to solve problems and we just give them a space to start investing with themselves and the proper framework to do so, he had all the ideas inside. those are like my ideal clients and I look like a genius, right? And a lot of times I've been quiet and you've answered your own question, you're like, God, you're so good. And I was like, yes, exactly, exactly, right? Like, but that's the point.

Christian Brim (29:56.256)
I was on mute.

Jacob (30:01.38)
I always tell people the best coaches are ones that can find great clients who are more motivated than their coaches to get the results that they want. If my trainer's not in the gym, I'm still working out, I don't give a shit, right? Again, eventually if he's not there long enough, I'll be like, hey, what am I paying you for? But just the experience of paying for it and then showing up and doing the work, if you're a good coach and you find good clients, they'll get crazy results no matter, you just have to make a space and get the hell out of their way. And that's one of the biggest things that I see on my.

coaching training end is I have to help a lot of people because the coaches ego is usually they're trying to like offer value. It's like no one needs your friggin value. Shut up, let the person have their experience and they'll actually create the clarity that they're looking for.

Christian Brim (30:41.932)
Yeah, and that's one of the things I've realized over the time that we've worked together is that it is exactly what you said you you give me the the space in the framework and not to say that you don't have wise counsel you do but the powerful things have come from within me where where I was able to discover those things and

it's, I think it's a process that inherently needs to involve someone else. Like I don't, I don't think you can do this by yourself. You think you can, you think you can, but you can't. And

Jacob (31:24.62)
Or why would you? Technically, you could walk four miles to the grocery store and carry it all home. But if you've got a beautiful Denali truck or whatever you drive out there in Oklahoma, why wouldn't you take the damn truck to the store and just put it in the back seat and then drive it home? It's probably much more comfortable.

Christian Brim (31:40.246)
Well, true, true. But I mean, well, maybe I'm just biased and I'm speaking from my own experience. I can't. I mean, like, even when I you know, as as I've progressed, and I feel like I have clarity, I still when you ask questions, I'm like, hmm, I don't know. And I have to dig deeper. And it's like, I can't do that.

with myself. Like maybe I could, but I haven't figured out how to do that.

Jacob (32:12.146)
Yeah, and I think that's the difference. That's why I love entrepreneurs. And again, like when I work with other coaches, I tell them, don't go into this space just because you think those are the people with money. If you have a problem that's that if you're talking to people that are compelled to solve their problems, they have any means at all, they'll spend money. So don't start working with entrepreneurs just because you think that's where the money is. You have to do it because you love it. And I loved it. I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I was hung out with entrepreneurs. I was looked up to entrepreneurs. And so it was a natural step for me, even when I was like broken, didn't have a business.

But one the things I love about is, like you said, like your ego is low enough that you're able to say, I don't know how to do this, or it'd be really hard for me to do this. Let me just bring in someone who can help me do this better. And so there's a natural line with what you're saying is like, technically you're smart. Like you're technically smart enough to do it. But like, do you want to do all of the work, or do you want to just have like a set time where you can go down that path your own and have, and again, I'll add one other thing, because you said wise counsel. The reality is it wasn't wise counsel.

you had done enough of the heavy lifting yourself that the answer itself was pretty obvious to me. I just put that, like you would like put the whole puzzle together. There was that one last piece and I'm like, that's the piece and I put it right there. So you could say, I'm brilliant at puzzles. The reality was you had built the whole puzzle. I picked up the last piece because that was the only thing that was there and I just dropped it in. That's called really good coaching.

Christian Brim (33:30.35)
Okay, let's pivot once again. So you've talked to me briefly about your childhood growing up and how I'd like to dive into how that experience has affected your adulthood, your coaching, your marriage, whichever you choose.

Jacob (33:59.186)
Okay.

You know, with all love and respect to how I grew up, and again, you know, I don't like to compare scars or worst areas, because everyone's trauma is unique for them, and it's exactly what they needed, and it was as bad as it could be for them, and whatever it might be. You know, of having a very, I grew up with never seeing my parents happy in their relationship. was...

kind of I was what do they call it? had a measurement things with my mom. My dad I didn't talk to for 20 years from the time I was about about 18 till about 30 years. Well, I was actually longer than that. It was about 20, 22 years, very biblical because that was how long Jacob and Joseph didn't speak. So and not putting either of us in that category, but just as kind of a cool thing. What what I what I constantly grapple with is a sense that I'm not enough or

that I, yeah, like I've dealt with a lot of my own issues around deserving, around being not enough, around am I qualified? know, am I, do I have a place here? Do I have real value to add? And the value that I add, is it okay if it's my own value? As someone that was like pushed really hard in school, like again, like I know Tiger Moms is like an Asian thing, but as Jews, I had a Tiger Mom, whatever.

whatever animal you'd put on it and would probably sound anti-Semitic, whatever we came up with. But the idea was ultimately like, am I valuable and is my value not associated with something that's external? So as someone that got straight A's and did really well in school and went to a great college, I didn't wanna do any of that shit. And I'm like an artist by trade and I really have a hard time following the rules and I can excel in any framework you put me in, but.

Jacob (35:56.314)
except for the like ability to excel in my own life. And so as I get older, really what I want to empower others with is the ability to excel. And again, it's weird if you think about it, because I'm part of a very dogmatic tradition of like, do this, don't do that. God has very clear definitions of what success is. But ultimately the gift that I want to give people is the ability to excel in their own ways and to feel really, really good about their own process for what they're contributing. And again, that's

Christian Brim (35:59.406)
Mmm.

Jacob (36:24.048)
That's kind of the underlying theme that again, like it's scary. You need big shoulders. I always point out that there was a Moses and there was an Aaron and the majority and just like in the world of entrepreneurship, like how many people are actual entrepreneurs that can actually run businesses like like like 10 % you know, and do it all like 5 % most people are like Aaron's Aaron Aaron sought and again, he was a great leader in his own right, but he sought frameworks. He sought order. He concretized the things.

Christian Brim (36:40.833)
Right.

Jacob (36:52.932)
Everything was, this is how you do it. This is the steps to achieve. And Moses was out there like screwing up, with all appropriate respect, screwing things up, cursing God, cursing himself. He ends up failing, not going to the Holy Land. The last thing he says is he's about to die, is basically like, I'm just starting to figure this thing out. I'm just starting to figure you God out. And we say that Judaism says there's never gonna be a greater prophet than Moses, the wisest person, the greatest insight. His last insight is like, I don't really even know what's going on over here. I'm just starting to get this. Like, it's a very entrepreneurial journey.

But ultimately what I want to people with, which means I ultimately want to gift myself with, is that sense of unique contribution, but doing it in a way that a person feels good with and can feel confident in the contribution they have.

Christian Brim (37:39.842)
you said something you could succeed at any framework and I'm paraphrasing that except in my own life is is that the way you still feel

Jacob (37:55.6)
I would love to tell you the answer is no. And that would be a complete lie. It's a process. I'm much more me. Again, like you look at, it's almost weird to hear people's reflections on me and then to be inside of me hearing people's reflections. Anyone with body dysmorphia will totally get that, right? What do you see when you see me? Like you said, you're like, wow, this guy's got big muscles and you know, I park my big loud.

Christian Brim (38:01.058)
Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Christian Brim (38:15.009)
Mm-hmm.

Jacob (38:23.602)
right in front of like, you know, and it's like I present a certain way and people know me know I'm not I mean a lot Depends on who you ask, right people know it's not about I don't like, you know, it's not about the money It's not about the muscles. It's about you know, like again a fat guy with no money working hard on on on and if I can do it anyone can do it That's that's that that's modality. I try to get out of you if you actually get to know me

But it's very weird hearing kind of the difference between how I feel about myself and how others feel about themselves. There's been like lot of personal stuff I've gone through as of late, which has also like created a tremendous amount of like humility for me. Like, you know, like I had a really bad relationship with a partner, which is so obvious. I would never, again, I do this professionally. I would have never gotten this situation. And it was really like a kick in the nuts, honestly. But it gave me humility. I was like, I was able to turn it into a lesson. So the reality is I'm...

Kinda like Moses said, like I'm on the path, I think. And if it was good for Moses, I'll just try to follow that same path. That's a nice way to say no, I don't feel like I've gotten anywhere.

Christian Brim (39:27.532)
Yeah. Have you re- Okay. Well, I appreciate the candor. So have you, have you reconciled to your father?

Jacob (39:36.786)
Yes, and I found I I'll see if I can do without getting choked up but you know Having my father having two failed marriages and not being able to talk to you of his kids He ended up he lives in Austria now and again He was like the big strong like big strong rush Limbaugh conservative like, you know six foot two blue-eyed like tough dad that you know and

When I reconnect with him, he's much, much older now. He lives in a small one room apartment. He's all about the communist lifestyle. You know, every, every Republican value that he used to embrace now he's like a hardcore, like socialist communist European, you know, as a Trump's going to take, destroy the world and, and whatever it is. And, you know, and I'll come to him with like, like, I don't give a shit about Paul. Like after I became a rabbi, like I realized like it, in most cases just divides people.

And so don't care about that. And I want to like the real stuff, like, you know, what do you regret the most? What would you, what would you wish you had done better? and the crazy thing is I've turned to him at really hard times and he's said, I can't do this. I don't know you and I don't know. And it's too hard for me to go back. And I remember sitting with on the airplane with my daughter who's 16 and sometimes she has a hard go of it. And sometimes I have a hard go of it. And sometimes I have a hard go of being her dad while she has a hard go of it. And I,

Christian Brim (40:29.357)
Right.

Jacob (40:56.186)
I remember telling her like the lesson that my dad taught me was no matter how badly you screw up your kids still needs you to be a father and so I told her like I will screw up but until I die I'll do whatever it takes to be the father that you need me to be and so I did reconcile with him and you know he should live long and you know be healthy and all the things but I think that the lesson is that I learned from him I you can learn from people either by what they do or what they don't do and

I think I learned a lot from what he did, but I learned a lot more by what he didn't do and what I need him to do. So I try to keep that front and center as I go through my

Christian Brim (41:33.282)
Yeah, I think it's it's interesting my own experience with my mother that I

I'm realizing that like, I'm going to have trouble putting this into words, because it's still kind of a new thought for me is that, you know, the people that we like our parents specifically, who are very influential in our lives, going early on and very formative in how we see the world and what we believe.

One, understanding that they're, you know, as an adult, you understand they're just people, they're not gods. They're, you know, as a child, they're God because they control everything, right? But that one, that they're human. But two, that your perception of them is fundamentally

skewed like you see them through a lens of what you needed or wanted at the time but that's not who they are. I don't know if you have any insight into that from your experience but like and I don't know how to say it any better but it's like

What I thought I was missing from my mother never really was there, I guess is what I'm saying. Like that, that, yeah.

Jacob (43:16.658)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it's I think it's it's it's a it's a beautiful reflection on our own needs. What what we would have needed on the on with tremendous humility, realizing like we put a lot of that on people that might not have had the capacity in all cases because our parents like want to care about us like we're parents. We want to care about our kids. But there's sometimes we can sometimes we do the best and it doesn't work. And so it's a it's a tremendous.

Christian Brim (43:36.024)
Yeah.

Right.

Jacob (43:47.09)
I think it's a tremendous lesson around our own needs, know, release, forgiveness, you know, the idea that just the fact that they brought you into the world, like that's enough. And everything on top of that that we were gifted, you know, is even better. And, you know, one of the things that that Julie says a lot, because I was, she was comparing, sometimes I don't like doing homework because of where I came from. And she said, I've got to get in trouble for this. And she said, you know,

Christian Brim (43:55.246)
Mm-hmm.

Christian Brim (44:04.386)
Yes.

Jacob (44:16.646)
She's like, well, I really need you to be around and engage more with the homework. And I said, you my dad was passed out drunk every night and like, at least I come home. And she was like, the bar is a little bit higher for you, I think. But the reality is like, even if he had just had me and never came around ever, like that would be enough. And the fact that he supported my family for as long as he did, and he put a roof over my head and like all that stuff, like, you know, it just kind of brings us back. think when we look at our parents with a sense of humility and appreciation, which is the healthy release.

Christian Brim (44:25.196)
Yeah, yes.

Jacob (44:45.81)
for all the shit that people did to us and then kind of looking at ourselves in our own relationship with our children is like, I want to do the best I can and ultimately they'll probably come to the same realization somewhere down the road that we were just people doing what we could in order to do the best job.

Christian Brim (45:01.806)
Yeah, yes. As Jordan Peterson says, you know you're successful if you have adult children that you want to spend time around. Yeah, yes.

Jacob (45:03.858)
Yeah.

Jacob (45:11.89)
That's ultimately the goal. I unfortunately, I have to jump off. have like a, I have a hard stop around now. This was like, I, this is like your show. So it's so, it's so preposterous to me to suggest we do, we do more of this, but I had a great time. Maybe I should make my own Chris project so I can have you on.

Christian Brim (45:25.672)
Well, you're welcome to so give us a clip on how we learn more about Jacob Brupp and working with you.

Jacob (45:33.446)
Yeah, I mean, I think that we we have a link in the show as it is. Rup-group.com has all of the background about me and and and ultimately, you know, the the people I'd be looking to work. I train coaches for a living. So there is not one problem that anyone listening to this would have that I don't have someone that could probably help you in terms of the people I'm looking with, like looking to work with myself either a if you have an inkling that you'd like to monetize some of your skills.

and help other people, which you can and you should. A little bit biased, but I think that that ability, again, if I could have worked with a Christian when I was up and coming, I think I could have made all kinds of, made different choices in my life if that's you. Or if you're looking to resolve some of the challenges you have or get to where you want to get to faster, that's what I do.

Christian Brim (46:26.35)
Well, Jacob, thank you very much for your time. I appreciate it. Shabbat Shalom.

Jacob (46:30.994)
Shmachalom to you, sir. This is amazing. It's fantastic. Even if it's like a Tuesday, this is the best. All right. Thank you so much. Talk soon.

Christian Brim (46:35.8)
Thank you.

Christian Brim (46:40.662)
Listeners, if you enjoyed what you heard, please share the podcast, subscribe to the podcast, rate the podcast. If you didn't like what you heard, shoot us a message and let us know what you would like to hear. Until then, remember you are not alone.